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atomicwedgie

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atomicwedgie's Journal

Created on 2000-08-05 10:17:59 (#9852), last updated 2005-06-01

5,790 comments received, 7,292 comments posted

Early Adopter [Gift]

407 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 86 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 3 Userpics

Basic Info

Name:	Atomic
Website:	http://www.myspace.com/sonictaco

Bio

• • • If I show up on your “FRIENDS OF” list and you are wondering “who the hell is this person?” well, you’re not alone. I added you probably because I find you amusing. Perhaps you made me giggle. Perhaps you made me guffaw. Perhaps you made me snort. In any case, I am test driving your journal to see how it fits. I may stay just a couple of days or I might be like your weird Uncle Felix who stayed at your house for three months while mooching things from your cupboard. Feel free to add me or ignore me. • • •

* * * *

* * * A T O M I C W E D G I E * * *
The Animal
(lakus dorkus erecti)

This is the Atomic Wedgie in full combat mode. The morning star he is wielding is called The Big Ball of Stupid. The Big Ball of Stupid is usually reserved for the dumbass drivers and clients he faces, but every once in a while it's directed toward whiners.

Wielding The Big Ball of Stupid sometimes has its consequences. Atomic Wedgie has only been hit three times with The Big Ball of Stupid. The doctors say that if he is hit again, his speech will be permanently slurred and will almost certainly increase the drooling.

* * * *

Late one night while sitting in a coffeeshop, a friend of a friend of a friend told me that I had some really fucked up ideas. I looked up thoughtfully toward a waitress who was wearing a vinyl mini skirt and said, “Hey how about another round of cheese fries?” It was that moment when I realized that I wasn’t just eating for one anymore. Something clicked. A short, burly, loudmouthed, sarcastic, son-of-a-bitch was born. It was then that I started to receive transmissions from this Wedgie character who continually insists on writing about the absurd.

My sense of humor has been described as sardonic, off the wall, crazy and in the words of a former LJ user, “really weird.”

This is not so much a journal as it is a place for me to exercise the funny bone.

• Zen is not so much the sound of one hand clapping, as it is a six pack, lounge chair, and an Enya CD.

• Even though Atomic still gets carded for alcohol, his age is in between 30 and 114. His wisdom is between 56 and 102. His maturity level is between 9 and 15 ½.